So the whole stupid thing w/my sister-in-law and brother has hopefully ended. I really am not sure to be honest. After all that mess went down over the stupid FB posts I texted my brother. We texted back and forth for over 2 hours. I thought we had resolved things.
Last week I got a note in the mail from my sister-in-law. She sent me an apology of sorts.
It was basically saying she had assumed too much from my posts and she should have just asked what I meant first before flipping shit on me.
The problem with this lovely little letter of hers was that she was extremely defensive.
for 6 paragraphs I was assaulted by her excuses and fake compliments and passive agressive assumptions about me. I really wish she would just shut up.
The finer points of her letter in which I speak of (concerning my atheism) included the phrases:
"I know that this is your personal choice".
my response?
1. My beliefs are not "personal choice". They are my beliefs. Much in the same way that your beliefs aren't a personal choice but that they are a core belief that you have faith is the truth, and that its unshakable and unchangeable. *That* is how I feel about my beliefs. "Choice" in this case to me, indicates a possibility for change. My beliefs are as constant for me as your own are for you.
Her second point in the letter that really rubbed me the wrong way:
"I hope one day you can share your story with me (I know you've been through a lot) and even your "religious scars".
my response:
2. I do not have a story or "religious scars". I grew up in the same home with your husband, my dear brother. I went to the same church as him, had friends there like him, listened to the same lessons and sermons as him, and was raised by the same parents as him. I don't have to have been a traumatized, bitter, angry, or scarred person to have the beliefs that I do. I came to them as surely and as peacefully as I'm sure you did about your own beliefs.
I finished up my response back with:
I do thank you for your apology. I don't, however, think I'll be discussing this any further than I have already. I have built a bridge, and gotten over it.
Thanks,
J.
I really hope this just ends it. I have no desire to talk with someone about what I believe and do not believe when they have already made assumptions about me and how I feel. It was such a slap in the face to get that damn letter. I sent that response just as it is and that is all on an email I never use anymore. I do not plan to check it anytime soon for a reply. I have nothing more to say to her.
I'm done. I'm letting it go. I don't need to validate myself through her acceptance. I don't need her acceptance. And I know that will just twist her shit sideways and back again. I'm very sorry she's that way, but there is nothing I can do more at this point.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
$$$$$$ equals quality?
As some of you may know, I am a small hobby breeder. I have two female dogs and one male. I'd love to expand on that but currently I also have four non-breeding dogs (spayed and/or neutered), so I am within my limits at seven dogs total with the city before I need a "kennel license", icky!
I saw something today that really pissed me off. A dog breeder charging upwards of $5,000.00 for her puppies. Under no circumstances can I think of a reason that a puppy, esp a mixed breed "designer dog", should be advertised with a price tag that massive. There are reasons that I refuse to over charge for my designer puppies. And I will argue ever reason that other designer breeders give for doing just that.
Other designer beeder's reason #1: The mixed designer dog is a result of parents that are rare breeds, thus making their stock better.
My answer: Spare me. Even within rare breeds there are poorly bred examples. Unless you've taken the time to actually judge your breeder dogs to be sound, and have carefully chosen each breeder for certain qualities and see those qualities in their litter, you cannot promise 'quality' based on the simple fact that the dogs you *plan* to breed are 'better rare stock'. That's just the facts. Even I cannot claim that, and I have a rare dog breed, who is a breeder female. There is no guarantee that my rare dog breed will grow up and met the standards that will make her a good breeder. I must wait, and judge her next fall, when she is 2yrs old and then decide if she will have a litter. That goes for *any* dog you plan to possibly breed. You invest two years into that dog to see if they are the proper standard and example of their breed.
Other designer breeder's reason #2: They are healthier dogs than inbred purebreds and they have hybrid vigor.
My answer: They are only healthier if they have tested to be so. That's just common sense. Mixing two breeds doesn't give them a free pass. And as much as this argument might be nice to use because it would mean that it would benefit *me* as a designer breeder, it's just not based in any scientific fact. I will agree that some purebred dogs gene pools have been tainted w/bad genetics due to over breeding, puppy mills, and what I call "The AKC cover up club" (but ill get to that in a minute). ANY time you breed you can have a litter with problems. That is why making sure your adult moms and dads (breeder dogs) are healthy before a litter is allowed to happen. It's not rocket science. I do no believe in "hybrid vigor", and here is why: A true "hybrid" is a cross between species, not a cross between breeds. A hybrid cross between a horse and a donkey (for instance) is a mule. THAT is a hybrid. A cross between one breed of dog and another breed of dog gives you....*a dog*. The correct term would be intra-species breed, and they are no more 'vigorous' than a purebred dog.
The AKC cover up club: There are show breeders out there that have dogs that should NEVER be bred. ever. They have dogs with genetic issues (internal) that are not seen on the outside, so though they will be judged well in the show ring, in the vet clinic they can be unsound. For instance, jumping the pond here and taking it to the UKC (United Kingdom Club), the kennel club of Great Britain, they had a Crufts winner that has a severe deformation, (Crufts Dog Show is to Britain as Westminster Dog Show is to the US). A cavalier king charles spaniel with a deformation of the skull, causing the brain to be squashed inside a skull to small for it's brain. The defect was corrected surgically, but this dog was declared Best In Show, and went on to sire litters of puppies, carrying on this defect. I do not put much stock in Kennel Clubs quality. The only thing a Kennel Club is for is to register your dogs lineage. PERIOD. It's not a blue blood ribbon. All an AKC, UKC, CKC registration means is that if you want to research the family your dog came from to avoid inbreeding within the family line, it's there for you to do so. Line breeding is also permitted by the bigger (AKC, UKC) kennel clubs. Which is nothing more than inbreeding.
To learn more: click here
Other designer breeder's reason #3: I breed quality and you can tell just by looking at 'low quality' breeder's prices which puppies are quality and which are not good quality. The higher the price the better the quality.
My answer: I really wish I could donkey punch breeders like this. I've seen pages on other breeder's websites claiming this over and over again. Some even giving a PRICE CHART to explain what is a 'quality breeder' and what is not. In my humble opinion the ones that are the worst are not the ones that may give you a crappy dog....to avoid a dog that is bred crappy all you need do is look at the puppy to see.
let's have an example shall we?
Pup 1:
Cute puppy right? But what is wrong here? Can anyone really spot the problem? Most people don't realize that they can pick out the issues with a puppies health just by looking at them, and they don't even realize it. This puppy is advertised as a maltipoo. This puppy doesn't look fat or rolly. He looks thin. Sure he looks scrappy, and some mix designers look like scrappy dogs, especially those w/Yorkie mixed in them, but he is a maltipoo (Maltese/poodle). These dogs are suppose to have longer, curly, fluffy coats. This dog's coat is stringy and sparse. On first glance of this dog I can tell you that the lack of a thick coat means his mama was probably malnourished, and sickly. His body mass indicates that he is not well fed. His coat is dull and sparse, indicating he was more than likely born outside, or in a very dirty environment that caused his hair to break off short, or fall out. Laying in urine can do this to hair, or a poor diet can. This dog has the telltale sign of an upper respiratory or eye infection/inflammation. It's pretty easy to tell that although this breeder goes on and on about the quality of her/his dogs been A+ because of their prices, they are lacking in health.
advertised at $800-$1500 depending on size, color, sex, etc. A standard thing for a lot of breeders to do. I am not for or against that, I just don't price puppies differently based on size. Color perhaps, sex yes, but not size (every breeder is different). The main difference here. Well...look at him! He's a fat little puppy. His coat is full and fluffy, his eyes are bright and void of goop and inflammation. His hair is not sparse or stained from urine. More than likely this puppy has been born indoors and well fed. Is this puppy worth $1500? Well that's up to the person buying him. But, consider this- average for a maltipoo (through my own research) is about $1,300 for a female, and $1,000 for a male. This breeder places hers between 800-1000. I've seen some people charge upwards of $5,000 for a maltipoo. I find that utterly ridiculous, I don't give a crap what celebrity bought their puppies. Bottom line. Buy at the price you are COMFORTABLE with, not at the prices that you "THINK" are 'quality'. There are many breeders that sell at a normal average price. For example- My Havanese girl cost me $950 dollars. On some breeder's scale that would be considered "puppy mill" priced. I beg to differ! Her breeder adjusts her prices according to the economy, and her clientele. She's not going to charge 5-8K for a puppy that she knows did not come from champion AKC show stock, to someone who will not set foot in a show ring w/her dogs. They are companion dogs. Her dogs are well taken care of, well groomed, well trained. Why should she charge anyone that amount? She breeds for the love of it. Any good breeder will tell you they breed because they enjoy it, not because they are looking to get rich. Sure there are some breeders that bring in a tiny income from this, but most that bring in HUGE incomes from it, are the real puppy mills. Someone trying to pay their bills, and running a small business w/their dogs..are not criminals to me. And my Havanese girl, is a wonderfully bred puppy.
As you can see for yourself. Penny, my Havanese girl is bright, fat, fluffy, and very healthy. She's a wonderfully bred little girl and I'm not ashamed to say I paid less than 1k for her. I find this '$$$ equals quality' crap unbelievably stupid. I will charge for my puppies what I think is fair. For the time, effort, and love that I put into each litter. So that I can carry on and continue to breed wonderful little companion dogs, not because I need the cash to put my kids through college, or become a rich puppy breeding mogal that sells all her top dollar pups to rich stupid minded celebs. I know I will never charge 2K for a dog! I doubt I'd charge more than $1,500 for a pure bred Havanese. It's not because I will breed poor quality dogs. That will never happen. It will be because I firmly do not believe that that is a reasonable price. It makes me uneasy at the thought of asking someone to pay that much for a puppy. Yes, I will expect my dogs to go to loving homes, homes that I will personally okay and I will have contracts set up to protect that puppy, but I don't think charging an arm and a leg for a beautifully raised puppy is okay. It's not ethical. I find ANY breeder justifying their jacked up prices to be unethical, just as unethical as the mass producing breeders. They are companions, this is a hobby, hence HOBBY BREEDER, if this is not your hobby....if this is your main source of income, you need to rethink your ethics. If you are asking so much for a dog that it would qualify as a down payment on a vehicle, or even a small house...your need to rethink your ethics. $$$$ does not ALWAYS equal quality!
I saw something today that really pissed me off. A dog breeder charging upwards of $5,000.00 for her puppies. Under no circumstances can I think of a reason that a puppy, esp a mixed breed "designer dog", should be advertised with a price tag that massive. There are reasons that I refuse to over charge for my designer puppies. And I will argue ever reason that other designer breeders give for doing just that.
Other designer beeder's reason #1: The mixed designer dog is a result of parents that are rare breeds, thus making their stock better.
My answer: Spare me. Even within rare breeds there are poorly bred examples. Unless you've taken the time to actually judge your breeder dogs to be sound, and have carefully chosen each breeder for certain qualities and see those qualities in their litter, you cannot promise 'quality' based on the simple fact that the dogs you *plan* to breed are 'better rare stock'. That's just the facts. Even I cannot claim that, and I have a rare dog breed, who is a breeder female. There is no guarantee that my rare dog breed will grow up and met the standards that will make her a good breeder. I must wait, and judge her next fall, when she is 2yrs old and then decide if she will have a litter. That goes for *any* dog you plan to possibly breed. You invest two years into that dog to see if they are the proper standard and example of their breed.
Other designer breeder's reason #2: They are healthier dogs than inbred purebreds and they have hybrid vigor.
My answer: They are only healthier if they have tested to be so. That's just common sense. Mixing two breeds doesn't give them a free pass. And as much as this argument might be nice to use because it would mean that it would benefit *me* as a designer breeder, it's just not based in any scientific fact. I will agree that some purebred dogs gene pools have been tainted w/bad genetics due to over breeding, puppy mills, and what I call "The AKC cover up club" (but ill get to that in a minute). ANY time you breed you can have a litter with problems. That is why making sure your adult moms and dads (breeder dogs) are healthy before a litter is allowed to happen. It's not rocket science. I do no believe in "hybrid vigor", and here is why: A true "hybrid" is a cross between species, not a cross between breeds. A hybrid cross between a horse and a donkey (for instance) is a mule. THAT is a hybrid. A cross between one breed of dog and another breed of dog gives you....*a dog*. The correct term would be intra-species breed, and they are no more 'vigorous' than a purebred dog.
The AKC cover up club: There are show breeders out there that have dogs that should NEVER be bred. ever. They have dogs with genetic issues (internal) that are not seen on the outside, so though they will be judged well in the show ring, in the vet clinic they can be unsound. For instance, jumping the pond here and taking it to the UKC (United Kingdom Club), the kennel club of Great Britain, they had a Crufts winner that has a severe deformation, (Crufts Dog Show is to Britain as Westminster Dog Show is to the US). A cavalier king charles spaniel with a deformation of the skull, causing the brain to be squashed inside a skull to small for it's brain. The defect was corrected surgically, but this dog was declared Best In Show, and went on to sire litters of puppies, carrying on this defect. I do not put much stock in Kennel Clubs quality. The only thing a Kennel Club is for is to register your dogs lineage. PERIOD. It's not a blue blood ribbon. All an AKC, UKC, CKC registration means is that if you want to research the family your dog came from to avoid inbreeding within the family line, it's there for you to do so. Line breeding is also permitted by the bigger (AKC, UKC) kennel clubs. Which is nothing more than inbreeding.
To learn more: click here
Other designer breeder's reason #3: I breed quality and you can tell just by looking at 'low quality' breeder's prices which puppies are quality and which are not good quality. The higher the price the better the quality.
My answer: I really wish I could donkey punch breeders like this. I've seen pages on other breeder's websites claiming this over and over again. Some even giving a PRICE CHART to explain what is a 'quality breeder' and what is not. In my humble opinion the ones that are the worst are not the ones that may give you a crappy dog....to avoid a dog that is bred crappy all you need do is look at the puppy to see.
let's have an example shall we?
Pup 1:
Cute puppy right? But what is wrong here? Can anyone really spot the problem? Most people don't realize that they can pick out the issues with a puppies health just by looking at them, and they don't even realize it. This puppy is advertised as a maltipoo. This puppy doesn't look fat or rolly. He looks thin. Sure he looks scrappy, and some mix designers look like scrappy dogs, especially those w/Yorkie mixed in them, but he is a maltipoo (Maltese/poodle). These dogs are suppose to have longer, curly, fluffy coats. This dog's coat is stringy and sparse. On first glance of this dog I can tell you that the lack of a thick coat means his mama was probably malnourished, and sickly. His body mass indicates that he is not well fed. His coat is dull and sparse, indicating he was more than likely born outside, or in a very dirty environment that caused his hair to break off short, or fall out. Laying in urine can do this to hair, or a poor diet can. This dog has the telltale sign of an upper respiratory or eye infection/inflammation. It's pretty easy to tell that although this breeder goes on and on about the quality of her/his dogs been A+ because of their prices, they are lacking in health. Now let's take a look at this puppy:
This puppy is also a maltipoo. This breeder's puppies are 
advertised at $800-$1500 depending on size, color, sex, etc. A standard thing for a lot of breeders to do. I am not for or against that, I just don't price puppies differently based on size. Color perhaps, sex yes, but not size (every breeder is different). The main difference here. Well...look at him! He's a fat little puppy. His coat is full and fluffy, his eyes are bright and void of goop and inflammation. His hair is not sparse or stained from urine. More than likely this puppy has been born indoors and well fed. Is this puppy worth $1500? Well that's up to the person buying him. But, consider this- average for a maltipoo (through my own research) is about $1,300 for a female, and $1,000 for a male. This breeder places hers between 800-1000. I've seen some people charge upwards of $5,000 for a maltipoo. I find that utterly ridiculous, I don't give a crap what celebrity bought their puppies. Bottom line. Buy at the price you are COMFORTABLE with, not at the prices that you "THINK" are 'quality'. There are many breeders that sell at a normal average price. For example- My Havanese girl cost me $950 dollars. On some breeder's scale that would be considered "puppy mill" priced. I beg to differ! Her breeder adjusts her prices according to the economy, and her clientele. She's not going to charge 5-8K for a puppy that she knows did not come from champion AKC show stock, to someone who will not set foot in a show ring w/her dogs. They are companion dogs. Her dogs are well taken care of, well groomed, well trained. Why should she charge anyone that amount? She breeds for the love of it. Any good breeder will tell you they breed because they enjoy it, not because they are looking to get rich. Sure there are some breeders that bring in a tiny income from this, but most that bring in HUGE incomes from it, are the real puppy mills. Someone trying to pay their bills, and running a small business w/their dogs..are not criminals to me. And my Havanese girl, is a wonderfully bred puppy. 
As you can see for yourself. Penny, my Havanese girl is bright, fat, fluffy, and very healthy. She's a wonderfully bred little girl and I'm not ashamed to say I paid less than 1k for her. I find this '$$$ equals quality' crap unbelievably stupid. I will charge for my puppies what I think is fair. For the time, effort, and love that I put into each litter. So that I can carry on and continue to breed wonderful little companion dogs, not because I need the cash to put my kids through college, or become a rich puppy breeding mogal that sells all her top dollar pups to rich stupid minded celebs. I know I will never charge 2K for a dog! I doubt I'd charge more than $1,500 for a pure bred Havanese. It's not because I will breed poor quality dogs. That will never happen. It will be because I firmly do not believe that that is a reasonable price. It makes me uneasy at the thought of asking someone to pay that much for a puppy. Yes, I will expect my dogs to go to loving homes, homes that I will personally okay and I will have contracts set up to protect that puppy, but I don't think charging an arm and a leg for a beautifully raised puppy is okay. It's not ethical. I find ANY breeder justifying their jacked up prices to be unethical, just as unethical as the mass producing breeders. They are companions, this is a hobby, hence HOBBY BREEDER, if this is not your hobby....if this is your main source of income, you need to rethink your ethics. If you are asking so much for a dog that it would qualify as a down payment on a vehicle, or even a small house...your need to rethink your ethics. $$$$ does not ALWAYS equal quality!~Jaesus.
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