Baby Name of the Day- Amelia

Today's name is Amelia.
AMELIA
Gender: Feminine
Usage: English, Spanish, Italian, Dutch, German, Ancient Germanic
Pronounced: ə-MEE-lee-ə (English), ə-MEEL-yə (English), ah-ME-lee-ah (German) [key]
Variant of AMALIA, though it is sometimes confused with EMILIA, which has a different origin. The name became popular in England after the German House of Hanover came to the British throne in the 18th century - it was borne by daughters of George II and George III. Another famous bearer was Amelia Earhart (1897-1937), the first woman to make a solo flight over the Atlantic Ocean.

The SS List, lists the name Amelia at the number 68 spot for 2008. Amelia first appeared on the SS list in 1880 at the number 96 spot. Amelia slowly lost popularity over the next 100 yrs, coming in at number 314 in 1980. After 1980 Amelia started to slowly gain popularity and by 2004 was in the top 100 at the number 96 spot. Amelia continues to rise in popularity till today at the number 68 spot.

I personally adore the name Amelia. It was at one time my favorite name for girls. Only recently sliding down to the number 2 position on my favorites list. Amelia is a very sweet feminine name. It has always brought to mind a sweet little girl, with bouncy curly hair and deep blue eyes. I also love the historical background of this name to Amelia Earhart. She was a strong woman who braved a world who was none too accepting in the advancement and equality of woman, yet her name is so soft and feminine. To me this is the epitome of womanhood. A strong woman need not have to have a "masculine" name to be considered an equal among men. Far too often I see little girls with masculine boys names, as if the parents are trying to make up for not having a son; or perhaps because to them giving them a masculine name some how makes them feel as if their child will be more of an equal among men. I find this truly sad, because a woman can have a beautiful feminine name and be strong.

There are many first/middles that I find nice with Amelia. The -a- on the end lends a very wide variety of names that would flow very well with Amelia. Names ending in -a- (in my opinion) are very easy to pair with harsher or blunter sounding names, perhaps ending in a -k- sound or an -r- sound.

First/Middle combos-
Amelia Claire
Amelia Joy
Amelia Corinne
Amelia Rebecca
Amelia Dawn
Amelia Jocelyn

Catherine Amelia
Louise Amelia
Jacqueline Amelia
Genevieve Amelia
Darcy Amelia
Verity Amelia

When it comes to first/middle combos a bit of thought does need to go into it, but Amelia is a fairly easy name to pair and it matches very well with a wide variety of names. For public opinion about this name click on the link to the question I asked on Yahoo!Answers:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091107185450AA6rphD

There are a few alternatives for Amelia that I truly do love, and some that I don't much care for. However, I will post all alternatives that I can find.

Alternatives:
Amelie
Amena
Amery
Emily
Emele
Emilia
Emilie

I do like Amelie and Emilia. I think they both have great potential and are very nice uncommon alternatives to Amelia. I don't think something overly unique like Amery or Amena would be doable as an alternative for Amelia, and to be honest I don't think they would be great names at any rate. They are a bit childish in pronunciation and awkward in spelling.

Overall I find the name Amelia one of the sweetest, loveliest, and well rounded feminine names. This name will grow very well from childhood to adulthood. The name is very powerfully feminine and I would suspect that Amelia will be a very nice strong feminine name for years to come.

Jaesus

Baby Name of the Day- Declan

Today's name is Declan.
DECLAN
Gender: Masculine
Usage: Irish Pronunciation: DECK-luhn
Anglicized form of Irish Deaglán, which is of unknown meaning (though there are theories). Saint Declan was a 5th-century missionary to Ireland.

The SS list, lists Declan in the number 347 spot for the year 2008. The name Declan first appeared on the SS list only a decade ago in 1998 at the number 710 spot. Declan has slowly risen over the last 10 years.

I personally love this name. On first glance it might be difficult to figure out how to pronounce this Irish name if one is unaccustomed to Irish names. I myself had no idea how to say this till I looked it up myself. Once I had established how to say Declan I let the name roll around in my mind for a while. I really started to warm up to this name over time and now it's probably one of my favorite Irish boy's names. Declan has a very interesting history. Declan came from the traditional Irish name Deaglan, from dag "good" and lan "full" suggesting "full of goodness." St. Declan was the founder of a monastery at Ardmore in County Waterford and may have preached in Ireland before the arrival of St. Patrick. Many miracles are attributed to a rock on the beach at Ardmore known as St. Declan's Stone. According to legend, on a trip back from Wales one of his disciples, Runanus, forgot Declan's sacred bell. But a prayer from Declan and, miraculously, the stone carried the bell over the waves back to Waterford.

Declan is a very nice uncommon name. I think it would be a great alternative D name to the more popular, David, Douglas and Dean; but it's not overly creative and/or "yoo-neek" such as Dekker, Draven, or Denim. Declan has a really nice traditional feel to it that I find really appealing to wide variety of name styles.It pairs well with most traditional, modern and even classic name style.

Middle/First name suggestions for Declan:

Declan James
Declan Connor
Declan Thomas
Declan Henry
Declan Eli
Declan Cale
Declan Bennett
Declan Brody

Joseph Declan
Cody Declan
William Declan
Jacob Declan
Nathan Declan
Benjamin Declan
Ryan Declan
Byron Declan

I really adore Joseph Declan, Declan Cody, Declan Thomas and oddly enough I even like Nathan Declan (I usually cannot stand the name Nathan). So this is one name that would even make the unattractive look nice. :)

Alternatives for Declan are many, but none have the same truly unique appeal. Declan is one of those names that people should be looking towards when wanting a unique name, but instead get caught up in the Jaydon/Kaylee etc crowd. There is unique and then there is "yoo-neek". Unique names are interesting and lovely, "Yoo-neek" names are ridiculous and childish. For public opinion of this name please click on the link below. I asked a question about Declan in Yahoo!Answers:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091105120012AACdqTU

Alternatives for Declan:

David
Decker
Deion
Deacon
Dean
Dayton
Dalton

As I stated before, I truly prefer Declan to it's alternatives. Though Deacon, David, and Dalton are quite nice. I find Declan much more original, and "stand-out-ish".

Overall I think Declan is a seriously masculine strong name. It has great potential and can even spruce up names that I usually consider bland, boring or filler. I think this name is an up-and-comer for the US. A strong established name in Ireland already, Declan is certainly a name that will stand the test of time through childhood into adulthood.

Jaesus

What is the most overused name poll winner- Michael

Today's baby name is the poll winner. My poll- What name is overused. Winner- Michael.
MICHAEL
Gender: Masculine
Usage: English, German, Czech, Biblical, Biblical Latin
Pronounced: MIE-kəl (English), MI-khah-el (German) [key]
From the Hebrew name מִיכָאֵל (Mikha'el) meaning "who is like God?". This is a rhetorical question, implying no person is like God. Saint Michael was one of the seven archangels in Hebrew tradition and the only one identified as an archangel in the Bible. In the Book of Revelation in the New Testament he is portrayed as the leader of heaven's armies, and thus is considered the patron saint of soldiers.
The popularity of the saint led to the name being used by nine Byzantine emperors, including Michael VIII Palaeologus who restored the empire in the 13th century. It has been common in Western Europe since the Middle Ages, and in England since the 12th century. It has been borne (in various spellings) by rulers of Russia (spelled Михаил), Romania (Mihai), Poland (Michał), and Portugal (Miguel). Other more modern bearers of this name include the British chemist/physicist Michael Faraday (1791-1867) and basketball player Michael Jordan (1963-).

The SS list, lists Michael on the number 2 spot for 2008. Michael first appears on the SS list at the number 46 spot in 1880. Michael dropped in popularity just before the turn of the century but bounced back quickly during the 1900s and steadily gained favor. In just a matter of 10 yrs (between 1933 and 1943) Michael went from the number 53 spot in 1933 to the number 10 spot in 1943. Michael became the number 1 name from 1954-1959, and at it's longest stretch from 1961-1998. It's been at the number 2 spot since 1999 and is holding the spot firmly to this day.

For me personally, this is my least favorite boys name. I don't necessarily find the name awful sounding or looking, but it is very common. I think everyone knows a Michael, Mike, or Mikey or even a Mick. This name has been used so much that it is one of those that most anyone will have in their family tree. The continued usage of Michael I've concluded is due to two factors.
The first factor- Family Tradition. Many people who chose to use Michael do so because it's a family name. Either dad, grandpa or even great-grandpa carried this name (maybe even an uncle, cousin or brother). I myself have an Uncle Mike and a first cousin Michael. While well meaning as this may be, I'd rather use a less common name. For instance My Uncle Mike's full name is Michael Warren A. I would much rather use Warren as a way to honor him than Michael. My cousin Michael's full name is Michael Scott, and while Scott is also common it's not near as over used as Michael. Another alternative way to honor a "Michael" family member would be to use a variant, such as Micah or Michel.
The second factor- Lack of creativity. Michael is a default name. It's one of those names that truly "fits" any name on the planet. Everything from Michael Bronx to Kingston Michael to Thomas Michael and Michael Lee....it just goes with everything. I've seen some people using it as a middle name to 'tone down' a wild first name. I've seen some people use it as a middle name to buffer an awkward first name. I've seen it used as a filler name when nothing else could be thought of.

For the most part I've seen Michael used for family, but on occasion I've seen it used in a desperate subconscious attempt to normalize a trendy first name. By using the well known Michael some parents hope to make it "acceptable" to name their child things like Falcon, or Blaze, or Jaxon, or something equally "yoo-neek" in sound or spelling.
I have no misgivings about the legitimate strength of the name Michael. Michael the Archangel gives one a very powerful visual of the name Michael. Hair of spun gold, handsome face, broad shoulders and masculine features....ah yes, and those ivory colored wings of course. ;)
In all honesty Michael carries no such visual appeal for me personally. Michael's in my mind are tall, slightly rough looking, dark hair and olive complected; a bit cocky and very obstinate...a ladies man so-to-speak. That is just my impression and oddly enough has no resemblance to the relatives who carry said name; in fact, both are blonde, reserved, single, and somewhat attractive...not handsome, but pleasant. For public opinion on this name here is a question I asked about it on Yahoo!Answers-

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091104120249AAhRYKR

I find the "middle/first" combo section of my review utterly pointless as Michael goes with anything really, but for the sake of doing this review properly I suppose I should put forth the effort. lol Some name suggestions I detest, but I wanted to put across my point that this name truly is a default.

First/Middle suggestions for Michael-

Michael Weston
Michael Bradley
Michael Hayden
Michael Sean
Michael Donovan
Michael Chase
Michael Rikker
Michael Brody
Michael Connor
Michael Jaydon
Michael Camden

Felix Michael
Aidan Michael
Henry Michael
Phoenix Michael
Bronx Michael
Thomas Michael
James Michael
Foxx Michael
Finley Michael
Rainier Michael
Warren Michael
Tennyson Michael

etc.

Alternatives for Michael (are much much nicer than Michael IMHO and should be considered more often and more seriously!)

Micah
Michel (French, pronounced Mee-shell)
Michon (mee-shawn)
Micaiah (muh-kye-uh)
Miguel
Mika (mee-kuh)
Mikhail
Mikko
Mitchell
Mitch
Marshall
(a stretch the last 3, but still)

The alternatives that I like the most are Micah and Mitchell. Micah is such a wonderfully under used name on boys, and I'd love to stop this trend with using it on girls. I find nothing about that name girly in the least. It's a darn shame how we are butchering our traditional boys names today into "tryndee" garbage for girls.

Overall I find the name Michael DOA in this day and age. I don't think it's an awful or socially awkward name, but it's boring non-the-less. I would highly recommend an alternative name or a different one all together. I would really love to see this name drop in popularity and other names like Marshall and Mitchell, even Micah and Mikhail take some of the brunt of the Michael over load. It's about time for a refreshing change to the SS leader board!

Jaesus

Baby Name of the Day- Clara

Today's name is Clara
CLARA
Gender: Feminine
Usage: Italian, German, Spanish, Portuguese, Catalan, Romanian, English, Late Roman
Pronounced: KLAH-rah (Italian, German, Spanish), KLER-ə (English), KLAR-ə (English) [key]
Feminine form of the Late Latin name Clarus which meant "clear, bright, famous". The name Clarus was borne by a few early saints. The feminine form was popularized by the 13th-century Saint Clare of Assisi (called Chiara in Italian), a friend and follower of Saint Francis, who left her wealthy family to found the order of nuns known as the Poor Clares. As an English name it has been in use since the Middle Ages, originally in the form Clare, though the Latinate spelling Clara became more popular in the 19th century.

The SS list has the name Clara in the number 206 spot for 2008. Clara first appears on the list in 1880 at the number 12 spot. It gained popularity over the next 5 yrs, peeking out at it's top rank of number 7 in 1885. From then it slowly decreased in favor for many years. By 1978 it topped out at it's lowest rank at number 597. Clara started to regain favor in the 1990's and by 200 Clara was at the number 354 spot. It still is gaining popularity and I believe this name will come full circle in the next ten years and might even make it to the top 10 again.

I personally think the name Clara as wormed it's way into my favor. It's one of those names that one has to warm up to, mull over, rethink over and over a bit before finally settling on liking it or not. At first it honestly did remind me of a cow- Clarabelle. Lately though I've been seeing it recommended more and more on baby name forums and it has really come to be quite lovely to me. It has a young, yet vibrant feel to it. There is something very classic, yet edgy about it. It's also a lovely alternative to Claire, which is also a favorite of mine, but has risen in popularity a bit too much to my liking. I love those, classic, elegant heard of...but not over used type names.

Clara is one of those names that sounds absolutely adorable on a newborn baby, but at the same time sounds perfectly mature and grown up on an adult. It has a whimsical feel to it on a young child...at the same time as a sophisticated feel to it on professional adult.
Clara could be a kindergarten teacher, or a high power attorney. Clara could be a simple small town girl, or a big town socialite. It's so versatile and well rounded.
For public opinion about the name Clara, see the question I've asked on Y!As...click the link below:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091019222835AADCG1S&r=w

I have surprised myself yet again, as I can say without doubt, that Clara is one of my new favorites that I will be adding to my own "favs list", as soon as I find the perfect middle name. And speaking of perfect middles...and firsts. I can see a wide variety of names fitting nicely with Clara. I think I personally prefer something classic/traditional, rather than modern/trendy...but both could still work. Therefore I'll recommend some first/middle combos in both styles:

Clara Eleanor
Clara Iris
Clara Estelle
Clara Emmeline
Clara Noelle
Clara Everly
Clara Hailey
Clara Violet
Clara Fallon
Clara Raine
Daphne Clara
Elizabeth Clara
Lillian Clara
Natalie Clara
Everly Clara
Verity Clara
Helen Clara

I think a well chosen first or middle would have to be one w/out the "ah" ending so that it doesn't clash with the "ah" ending of Clara. Names with N endings or Y endings seem to work well. I think the more interesting combos like Clara Everly and Verity Clara are very strong and unique with out being too "tryndee".

Alternatives for Clara are vast, but these are some that I find lovely:

Clarice
Clarissa
Claudette
Claudia
Claire
Cara
Cora

I particularly love Clarice, Claire, Claudia and Cora. Wonderful under used names. I think any would make a great choice.

Overall I think Clara is a great name, whose favor is fast on the rise. I think it's a great well rounded name that would suit any little girl and age beautifully on her. It's a name that is timeless and classic and molds to just about any circumstance. Great names are versatile and this one takes the cake.

Jaesus

What is the most overused name poll winner- Aiden

Today's Baby name is the poll winner. My poll- What name is overused. The winner- Aiden.
AIDEN
Gender: Masculine
Usage: English (Modern)
Pronounced: AY-dən [key]
Variant of AIDAN

AIDAN
Gender: Masculine
Usage: Irish, Scottish, English (Modern)
Pronounced: AY-dən [key]
Anglicized form of AODHÁN. In the latter part of the 20th century it became popular in America due to its sound, since it uses the same fashionable aden suffix sound found in such names as Braden and Jayden.

The SS list, lists Aiden at the number 16 spot for 2008. Aiden first appeared in 1995 at the number 935 spot. Aiden has steadily gained popularity ever since. Within the last 5 years Aiden has become the new "It" name among baby boys. It's peek is at the number 16 spot for 2008, and at the rate it's going it looks like Aiden will be moving up into the top ten very soon.

I personally think the popularity of this name will make it an easy contender for the top 5. I have met many little Aiden/Aaden/Aden/Ayden/Aidan's. The name is a very nice masculine one. It matches a wide variety of middles/firsts. It's one of those names which could be used with any name really. I think this is the main reason for it's appeal, the ease in which it is to pair it with a middle/first name. I think Aiden might be the new Michael.
I do fear that the popularity of this name will be it's ultimate demise. It will rise and rise, and then ultimately fade into "trend" name history. I do find that a shame because it really is a very fine sounding name. It's hard NOT to like Aiden, but the turn off for people lately is its very popularity. For public opinion of this name please click the link below to read a question I asked about it in Yahoo!Answers-http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091012101539AAC4LlR

Middle/First names for Aiden are quite easy to come up with. The ease in which Aiden flows with just about any name makes it a tempting choice indeed. Some suggestions I would say for a middle/first name for Aiden-

Aiden Thomas
Aiden Mitchell
Aiden Lucas
Aiden Brennan
Aiden Blaine
Aiden Charles
Aiden Collin
James Aiden
Douglas Aiden
Keaton Aiden
Henry Aiden
Edward Aiden
Patrick Aiden
Christopher Aiden

Alternatives for Aiden are vast as well. Aiden has spurred a menagerie of "like-sound" names, such as: Jayden, Braden, Caiden, Zayden, etc. These would be obvious alternatives to Aiden. Some different alternatives might be-

Aden
Ayden
Aidan
Adam
Adrian
Afron
Aimon
Alan
Aldan
Alden
Aldon
Altan
Alton
Aaron
Arden
Aren
Auden

Some of these alternatives are more literal than others, but for the most part they have the same feel of "freshness" that Aiden had the first couple of years it gained popularity. Now it seems that Aiden has become too common place, and people are starting to branch out, searching for that next "It" name. These alternatives have that potiental. Some old classics that could come back into favor, and some little used classics that cold be nice to an audience of fresh ears.

Over all I tend to agree with the majority of voters here that Aiden is over used. Though My vote would have gone to the well over used name Michael, Aiden is an up and coming "once a nice name" contender. It's a shame too, because Aiden has such a lovely sound, and ease of speech. It also pairs nicely with a wide variety of first/middle names. I can see it's appeal, but it's continued over use is making it one of the most disappointing fast risers that's ever hit the top 20 list in a long while.

Jaesus

A Note to Anon. (Out of the Closet)

I got a question on my formspring.me page about something quite personal to the anon questioner....and yet ironically very close to home for me. So I wanted to answer the Anon...and I ran out of characters on formspring...(who knew there was a char limit?! O.o) So I am posting it here for the ANON to read. :)

Anon asked:
I have a question-although not about names, about my 16 year old son. What would you do if your son came out of the closet? I know you're an atheist & it would be different for you, but my husband & I are devout Christians and I don't know what to do. advice?

Dear Anon,
I know this will be long, so I apologize for that, but I feel i need to explain as best i can considering this subject, and (of course) being a polite as i can with regards to our religious differences.
first, i was raised in a christian household. I am the granddaughter of a baptist reverend in fact. So i am very knowledgeable about christian teachings first hand, and not just book learned and or studied through real world experience, friends, etc. But then even at 5yrs of age i always felt "different" when it came to religion and studied it with just a want of knowledge to feed my curiosity and not as a literal 'truth' or 'belief' that most do. hard to explain that actually. lol but I've studied a LOT of different beliefs...but i digress.
the first thing i can understand when you're in a certain faith is the immediate fear for your child's safety. not because of a religious feeling, but because you KNOW darn well how other religious people will treat, talk about, or behave towards someone who is homosexual and as a parent your first thought/instinct is to protect them like a grizzly bear from those who would harm them.
that's normal, AND in my humble opinion demonstrates that "orientation" means squat when it's your child. All you want and should want to do, is love your child, be there for your child and try to understand your child as best you can. people fear what they do not understand. so that is key (understanding) to accepting on some level (a level in which is most comfortable for you to be at) your child for WHO he is....and not "what" he is.
i think the second thing I'd do if i was you...(religious is what i mean) was to search my 'book of faith' (the bible in your case) and REALLY read what it says. not just *the* verse
Levt. 18:22, but the verses BEFORE and AFTER it as well.
the reason, 1. most people only hear of *that* verse and not the context in which it was placed. or why. 2. to really understand the text surrounding it. 3. to understand better exactly the things said within Leviticus 18.
Levt 18:5 states clearly what is about to be "said" by "the lord" unto his people via Moses-
18:5 - "Ye shall therefore keep my statutes, and my judgments: which if a man do, he shall live in them"

Therefore the following #s from Leviticus are commandments or "LAWS" that Moses and his people were to follow. (not the ten commandments *which some theologians suggest were more than just 10*, but the laws of society as a whole once the Hebrews fled Egypt.) **as you can see...this Atheist knows the bible well...in fact i probably have more bibles in my closet than some Christians, lol. i find many religious books important, esp the bible...not because i subscribe to them but because of it's importance on the literary history of mankind....and it's influence on people throughout history. one MUST understand it's significance, influence, usage, and practice to truly understand the minds of ancient man)..ummm got side tracked.
so on with it shall we?
okay....
When you look at the Laws within Levt. 18 you will see MANY laws that nowadays are considered sexist, outdated, ridiculous, or well...strange to the modern person. only ONE keeps popping up as the one that is not considered "normal". YET. (i.e. homosexuality).
so you have to ask....at what point in time did it become acceptable for all the OTHER rules listed to be broken. (women voting, women in positions of power over men, eating shellfish, etc) and yet homosexuality is still 'wrong". why? because it triggers some people's "icky" button.
I have to also question  (and i mean this as my own thought on the matter in deciding what i thought about the entire issue of homosexuality as a young teen *whether it was right or wrong as i was "taught", etc). One thing you hear over and over- I was born this way (gay). Well....weren't heterosexuals also born that way....."hetero". If a hetero is born that way then logically speaking it's possible to be BORN feeling another way.

I also wanted to point out that these laws end with a statement- that the laws are to be taken as a WHOLE and NOT to be cherry picked for individual usage. it's all or nothing. and if you do cherry pick, it's WORSE that breaking one rule because you've put importance on one rule above all others....which is  an insult to "god". you don't hear about that part in Sunday school....because it doesn't fit their purpose....to LEAD you into making a judgement with out all the facts.

This was something i noticed and wondered about from the age of 5 yrs old to the age of 20yrs old.....and i always wanted to know- WHY
to question or to seek out the whys was 'wrong'. or so i was told. my advice from Sunday school teachers or religious peers was- because it's just what the bible says.....end of story. that wasn't good enough for me. i sought out the meanings on my own. now...I'm not bashing religious people, their beliefs etc but for ME i couldn't agree w/the methods of reasoning they used.
i truly think that everyone should discover their own "faith" w/out the hype, the organized sheep like blind wandering quality you get sometimes. you need to search your own heart. listen to what the voice in your heart tells you....now whether that voice is your god, or something else. that's for YOU do decide....but i promise that if you are not there for your child you will lose out on something wonderful. you don't have to believe in the same things (religiously) to have a good relationship and love.
my mother is very devout in her christian faith and i ADORE her deeply and respect her. she loves me very much, and though we don't agree on a lot of things, we do respect each other very much. :) its' not about Hextrero/homosexual..it's about love.
Also please remember that your child is 16. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take his announcement seriously, but i am saying that at this age they are discovering a LOT of things about themselves and it's important for them to explore their own mind, feelings, etc with a support system there. whether they truly ARE coming out or just experimenting...they need to know that you will always love them no matter what. that you are not mad or upset or disappointed in them as a human being. because after all....your child might be half grown, but think back. do you remember that sweet smiling face as they learned to walk? as they said mama for the first time? how they laughed and it made your heart flip over? they are that SAME child. that never changes, no matter WHO they love in life and no matter WHAT their orientation may be.

:) Much respect-
Jaesus the Blogger

An apology.....well sorta

So the whole stupid thing w/my sister-in-law and brother has hopefully ended. I really am not sure to be honest. After all that mess went down over the stupid FB posts I texted my brother. We texted back and forth for over 2 hours. I thought we had resolved things.
Last week I got a note in the mail from my sister-in-law. She sent me an apology of sorts.
It was basically saying she had assumed too much from my posts and she should have just asked what I meant first before flipping shit on me.
The problem with this lovely little letter of hers was that she was extremely defensive.
for 6 paragraphs I was assaulted by her excuses and fake compliments and passive agressive assumptions about me. I really wish she would just shut up.

The finer points of her letter in which I speak of (concerning my atheism) included the phrases:
"I know that this is your personal choice".

my response?
1. My beliefs are not "personal choice". They are my beliefs. Much in the same way that your beliefs aren't a personal choice but that they are a core belief that you have faith is the truth, and that its unshakable and unchangeable. *That* is how I feel about my beliefs. "Choice" in this case to me, indicates a possibility for change. My beliefs are as constant for me as your own are for you.

Her second point in the letter that really rubbed me the wrong way:
"I hope one day you can share your story with me (I know you've been through a lot) and even your "religious scars".

my response:
2. I do not have a story or "religious scars". I grew up in the same home with your husband, my dear brother. I went to the same church as him, had friends there like him, listened to the same lessons and sermons as him, and was raised by the same parents as him. I don't have to have been a traumatized, bitter, angry, or scarred person to have the beliefs that I do. I came to them as surely and as peacefully as I'm sure you did about your own beliefs.

I finished up my response back with:

I do thank you for your apology. I don't, however, think I'll be discussing this any further than I have already. I have built a bridge, and gotten over it.


Thanks,
J.

I really hope this just ends it. I have no desire to talk with someone about what I believe and do not believe when they have already made assumptions about me and how I feel. It was such a slap in the face to get that damn letter. I sent that response just as it is and that is all on an email I never use anymore. I do not plan to check it anytime soon for a reply. I have nothing more to say to her.
I'm done. I'm letting it go. I don't need to validate myself through her acceptance. I don't need her acceptance. And I know that will just twist her shit sideways and back again. I'm very sorry she's that way, but there is nothing I can do more at this point.

$$$$$$ equals quality?

As some of you may know, I am a small hobby breeder. I have two female dogs and one male. I'd love to expand on that but currently I also have four non-breeding dogs (spayed and/or neutered), so I am within my limits at seven dogs total with the city before I need a "kennel license", icky!

I saw something today that really pissed me off. A dog breeder charging upwards of $5,000.00 for her puppies. Under no circumstances can I think of a reason that a puppy, esp a mixed breed "designer dog", should be advertised with a price tag that massive. There are reasons that I refuse to over charge for my designer puppies. And I will argue ever reason that other designer breeders give for doing just that.

Other designer beeder's reason #1: The mixed designer dog is a result of parents that are rare breeds, thus making their stock better.

My answer: Spare me. Even within rare breeds there are poorly bred examples. Unless you've taken the time to actually judge your breeder dogs to be sound, and have carefully chosen each breeder for certain qualities and see those qualities in their litter, you cannot promise 'quality' based on the simple fact that the dogs you *plan* to breed are 'better rare stock'. That's just the facts. Even I cannot claim that, and I have a rare dog breed, who is a breeder female. There is no guarantee that my rare dog breed will grow up and met the standards that will make her a good breeder. I must wait, and judge her next fall, when she is 2yrs old and then decide if she will have a litter. That goes for *any* dog you plan to possibly breed. You invest two years into that dog to see if they are the proper standard and example of their breed.



Other designer breeder's reason #2: They are healthier dogs than inbred purebreds and they have hybrid vigor.

My answer: They are only healthier if they have tested to be so. That's just common sense. Mixing two breeds doesn't give them a free pass. And as much as this argument might be nice to use because it would mean that it would benefit *me* as a designer breeder, it's just not based in any scientific fact. I will agree that some purebred dogs gene pools have been tainted w/bad genetics due to over breeding, puppy mills, and what I call "The AKC cover up club" (but ill get to that in a minute). ANY time you breed you can have a litter with problems. That is why making sure your adult moms and dads (breeder dogs) are healthy before a litter is allowed to happen. It's not rocket science. I do no believe in "hybrid vigor", and here is why: A true "hybrid" is a cross between species, not a cross between breeds. A hybrid cross between a horse and a donkey (for instance) is a mule. THAT is a hybrid. A cross between one breed of dog and another breed of dog gives you....*a dog*. The correct term would be intra-species breed, and they are no more 'vigorous' than a purebred dog.
The AKC cover up club: There are show breeders out there that have dogs that should NEVER be bred. ever. They have dogs with genetic issues (internal) that are not seen on the outside, so though they will be judged well in the show ring, in the vet clinic they can be unsound. For instance, jumping the pond here and taking it to the UKC (United Kingdom Club), the kennel club of Great Britain, they had a Crufts winner that has a severe deformation, (Crufts Dog Show is to Britain as Westminster Dog Show is to the US). A cavalier king charles spaniel with a deformation of the skull, causing the brain to be squashed inside a skull to small for it's brain. The defect was corrected surgically, but this dog was declared Best In Show, and went on to sire litters of puppies, carrying on this defect. I do not put much stock in Kennel Clubs quality. The only thing a Kennel Club is for is to register your dogs lineage. PERIOD. It's not a blue blood ribbon. All an AKC, UKC, CKC registration means is that if you want to research the family your dog came from to avoid inbreeding within the family line, it's there for you to do so. Line breeding is also permitted by the bigger (AKC, UKC) kennel clubs. Which is nothing more than inbreeding.
To learn more: click here


Other designer breeder's reason #3: I breed quality and you can tell just by looking at 'low quality' breeder's prices which puppies are quality and which are not good quality. The higher the price the better the quality.


My answer: I really wish I could donkey punch breeders like this. I've seen pages on other breeder's websites claiming this over and over again. Some even giving a PRICE CHART to explain what is a 'quality breeder' and what is not. In my humble opinion the ones that are the worst are not the ones that may give you a crappy dog....to avoid a dog that is bred crappy all you need do is look at the puppy to see.
let's have an example shall we?

Pup 1:

Cute puppy right? But what is wrong here? Can anyone really spot the problem? Most people don't realize that they can pick out the issues with a puppies health just by looking at them, and they don't even realize it. This puppy is advertised as a maltipoo. This puppy doesn't look fat or rolly. He looks thin. Sure he looks scrappy, and some mix designers look like scrappy dogs, especially those w/Yorkie mixed in them, but he is a maltipoo (Maltese/poodle). These dogs are suppose to have longer, curly, fluffy coats. This dog's coat is stringy and sparse. On first glance of this dog I can tell you that the lack of a thick coat means his mama was probably malnourished, and sickly. His body mass indicates that he is not well fed. His coat is dull and sparse, indicating he was more than likely born outside, or in a very dirty environment that caused his hair to break off short, or fall out. Laying in urine can do this to hair, or a poor diet can. This dog has the telltale sign of an upper respiratory or eye infection/inflammation. It's pretty easy to tell that although this breeder goes on and on about the quality of her/his dogs been A+ because of their prices, they are lacking in health.   

Now let's take a look at this puppy:

This puppy is also a maltipoo. This breeder's puppies are

advertised at $800-$1500 depending on size, color, sex, etc. A standard thing for a lot of breeders to do. I am not for or against that, I just don't price puppies differently based on size. Color perhaps, sex yes, but not size (every breeder is different). The main difference here. Well...look at him! He's a fat little puppy. His coat is full and fluffy, his eyes are bright and void of goop and inflammation. His hair is not sparse or stained from urine. More than likely this puppy has been born indoors and well fed. Is this puppy worth $1500? Well that's up to the person buying him. But, consider this- average for a maltipoo (through my own research) is about $1,300 for a female, and $1,000 for a male. This breeder places hers between 800-1000. I've seen some people charge upwards of $5,000 for a maltipoo. I find that utterly ridiculous, I don't give a crap what celebrity bought their puppies. Bottom line. Buy at the price you are COMFORTABLE with, not at the prices that you "THINK" are 'quality'. There are many breeders that sell at a normal average price. For example- My Havanese girl cost me $950 dollars. On some breeder's scale that would be considered "puppy mill" priced. I beg to differ! Her breeder adjusts her prices according to the economy, and her clientele. She's not going to charge 5-8K for a puppy that she knows did not come from champion AKC show stock, to someone who will not set foot in a show ring w/her dogs. They are companion dogs. Her dogs are well taken care of, well groomed, well trained. Why should she charge anyone that amount? She breeds for the love of it. Any good breeder will tell you they breed because they enjoy it, not because they are looking to get rich. Sure there are some breeders that bring in a tiny income from this, but most that bring in HUGE incomes from it, are the real puppy mills. Someone trying to pay their bills, and running a small business w/their dogs..are not criminals to me. And my Havanese girl, is a wonderfully bred puppy.

As you can see for yourself. Penny, my Havanese girl is bright, fat, fluffy, and very healthy. She's a wonderfully bred little girl and I'm not ashamed to say I paid less than 1k for her. I find this '$$$ equals quality' crap unbelievably stupid. I will charge for my puppies what I think is fair. For the time, effort, and love that I put into each litter. So that I can carry on and continue to breed wonderful little companion dogs, not because I need the cash to put my kids through college, or become a rich puppy breeding mogal that sells all her top dollar pups to rich stupid minded celebs. I know I will never charge 2K for a dog! I doubt I'd charge more than $1,500 for a pure bred Havanese. It's not because I will breed poor quality dogs. That will never happen. It will be because I firmly do not believe that that is a reasonable price. It makes me uneasy at the thought of asking someone to pay that much for a puppy. Yes, I will expect my dogs to go to loving homes, homes that I will personally okay and I will have contracts set up to protect that puppy, but I don't think charging an arm and a leg for a beautifully raised puppy is okay. It's not ethical. I find ANY breeder justifying their jacked up prices to be unethical, just as unethical as the mass producing breeders. They are companions, this is a hobby, hence HOBBY BREEDER, if this is not your hobby....if this is your main source of income, you need to rethink your ethics. If you are asking so much for a dog that it would qualify as a down payment on a vehicle, or even a small house...your need to rethink your ethics. $$$$ does not ALWAYS equal quality!

~Jaesus.

Ten Things You Should Know About Atheists.

I'm posting this due to some major drama between my brother and sister-in-law and I. Apparently I cannot post anything on FB without it leading to a religious debate.
They ASSUMED wrongly about one of my posts.
It wasn't religious, it was political. Of course, some of the political stance on the issue I was addressing is rooted in religion, but mostly it was about the the politically fueled positions on this topic.

This was my FB post:
When you deny who you are, and how you truly feel in order to conform to a standard of 'rules' or 'conditions' laid out by any dogma you are lying to yourself and everyone around you. I'd rather be hated for who i am, than a sheep that blindly follows the herd while living in a private misery. I say this for myself, i say this for my friends who deal with something like this, and i say this for my friends that would rather follow the herd, so that they may understand me better. I'm not asking for pity, I'm not asking for acceptance, I'm sharing my truth. and know, if you're on my page, if you can read this, i love you....no matter who you are inside.


What i was talking about was people who deny Gays the same basic rights as Straights. Specifically the huge debate about Gay Marriage.
How some straights react with overly emotional political responses based in religions beliefs, instead of logical reasoning AND EMPATHY.

My post was about how some gays have a hard time dealing with the outside world because their INSIDE world is so fucked up. The phrase- "To thine own self be true", is what i was going for here. Some live in their own hell and misery because they'd rather conform and submit to political dogma, (or religious) than stand up for who they really are and possibly be bullied or hated for it.
It saddened me.


THE REASON i posted that on my FB page.
i saw a youtube video that someone posted about "former gays who had found their 'true' selves through "religious healing"". Or what i recognize as- brainwashing and conditioning.

it had NOTHING to do with my family, with my friends. But of course certain family members made it ALL about their "truth" (i.e. their god being the truth and everyone elses' opinion being a lie).

it was taken out of context and spun around the dance floor to the point where i actually have had to BLOCK certain people from viewing what i post on FB. SERIOUSLY!?
my second post was as follows:
Ever have something you wanted to say, but censored yourself cause you know darn well people will get their panties in a bunch over it? Basically it's something i don't believe, yet some insist on shoving in my face. Thanks for that....really. lovely of ya. smoochies


This wasn't about my earlier post at all, and had nothing to do with it! What it was about, was being able to post what i want w/out being lectured or yelled at because i *dared* to say something that didn't sit well with someone else. Apparently it's perfectly okay for them to vomit whatever the fuck they feel on their page, but i cannot on my own. because *I* am being disrespectful of THEM?

really? seriously?

so...you can preach at me...but i cannot feel how i feel in the open w/out you jumping my ass?

basically if i was to post-
"i have faith in myself, i have faith in my husband. that is my truth and it's beautiful"
I'd get a THOUSAND responses from religious family and friends that would make it all a religious battle instead of recognizing it for what it is. MY FEELINGS that i shared WITH YOU. not for you to hate on me, but for you to share in my joy!

They can post something like "My god is great, He gives me strength and lifts me up and it's beautiful"
and NO ONE WILL RESPOND NEGATIVELY! not even ME, even though i don't believe in that, nor feel that way. i respect their right to praise who they wish.

this is the hypocritical standards i was speaking of in my SECOND post. that i cannot say what i want because it always puts someones knickers in a bunch, but they can spout off whatever the FUCK they want w/out an regard to how OTHER PEOPLE feel about it.
it pisses me off. its the same as assuming that everyone around you believes the same thing you do.
which is WHAT CHRISTIANS DO!
that doesn't make them bad, or horrible, just insensitive to other people's beliefs. not everyone believes in *your* god. some people believe in a *different* god, or not ANY god at all.

learn to recognize that before you speak. it's just annoying. and completely stupid that they can jump my ass on a topic and call ME close minded and 'negative'. when they are the ones with tunnel vision with their own faith, not recognizing or accepting anything outside that little BOX they've created for themselves.

so for them i BLOCKED. now i can say whatever the FUCK i want, and know i wont be lectured about it.
you don't have to like what i say...trust me you've probably said some shit i don't like either...but show me ONE comment on your status where I've lectured your ass about your feelings? I've been SUPPORTIVE, no matter if the post is religiously geared or not.
cant say the same for you...which i find ironic...cause it ain't very Christ-like of you at all.

SO i will list 10 things you should KNOW about atheists so you "overly religious and wanna SHARE with everyone" peoples can understand some things about us.


1. your god is not the only god i dont believe in. your god is not the only god recognzied by people. when i say i dont believe in god, i mean i dont belive in ANY gods. i'm not singling yours out for special attention.

2. Do not assume that we have a negative outlook on life just because we don't believe what you do. i assure you, I'm quite happy.

3. DON'T tell me that you fear I'll go to hell. Is that suppose to scare me? We don't believe in it, it's just ridiculous to think that threat means much.

4. We have a moral compass, trust me we do. Just because it's not anchored in some religion doesn't mean it's not real and good.

5. We don't mind talking about religion with you, so long as you are respectful and understanding. If we are calmly discussing it, don't get all pissy when we don't agree w/what you have to say. (likewise if an atheist you're talking to is overly aggressive about it, just walk away, they aren't being anymore rational than a bible thumper would be).

6. There are more of us than you think. the 14% I've seen in certain chain letters (telling us to sit down and shut up no-less) is inaccurate. We are your neighbors, your friends, your teachers,  your bankers, your employees, your bus drivers etc. just respect people in general no matter their chosen path and you'll be great.

7. we are not all liberal, we are not all Democrat. Just like you, we have our own opinions about everything.

8. We do not hate you, your god, your faith, your chosen lifestyle. we just want to have the same freedom to chose what is best for US as you do for you.

9. We do not worship the devil. the devil is not a real person or thing to us...why would we worship something that is not real for us?

10. Don't assume to know how i feel inside. being "god-less" as you call it, doesn't make me a hollow person. Don't assume that, and i wont assume you're a blind sheep following aimlessly in your search for something that isn't real.


K, thanks bye.