I'm aaaaaddddicted ADDICTED!!! **screams**

Yeah, I'm totally addicted. To what you might ask? To Evanescence. :P Honestly they rock my socks dude. I've been jamming out to them all damn day. Cannot get enough. My vocal cords are ruined btw...because YES I DO sing my little tail off to my favorite songs in the privacy of my own home like a weirdo. It's cool...I don't sound horrid, but I ain't no Celine Dion either.

Anyhoo....ON WITH THE SO-SO SINGING!!!


Jaesus

And Time Marches on...and on.

I was going through some old photos for Kyle today. He has a project in art class. They are making a book about themselves and need to bring pictures to class for it. After going through tons and printing out dozens....I had to stop and look at a couple.

 My boys (the older 2) are just so grown up now. I can't believe it. Yet there in front of me in Kodak color was proof of how grown up they are now. *sigh*.

 I miss those young goofy guys so much! I guess that's how it goes. They grow up so fast, and it really doesn't seem that long ago that they were chubby cheeked and bright eyed. They are still bright eyed, but no more chub. They are practically grown! How did the time pass so fast?

Jaesus.

I'm MELTING!

So I'm beginning to think that summer is never going to end. I like summer, I really do...but holy hell on wheels man, can we PLEASE have a break from over 100 degree temps?! PLEASE?! I've lived in Texas most of my life so I'm pretty used to the scorching heat of an endless "summer", but this is ridiculous. My town has broken so many heat records this summer it would make your head spin. Over 60 straight days of temps over 100 degrees can make anyone batty.

I've not been able to walk my dogs in months. It's just too hot for them. I used to walk them every day at 5pm, but with 2 of them being senior dogs it's just too much. One walk pretty much ended it all when Angel (who is 10), got overheated and we had to take a break in an alley so she could cool off. After that I tried walking in the evening, but after the scary crap that happened to me last year I just couldn't get back out there and do an 'after sunset' walk again.
So here's the story if you don't know already, and some of you do...if you were on Skype last year. If not...here's a scary story for you.
I was out w/my two smaller dogs after walking my two big dogs one night, probably around 10:30pm. I had turned down a street close to my house and there were some cars coming up the street I was on, no big deal. Several passed me, and then one car drove up the street and slowed down, it made me nervous but I figured maybe he was looking for an address so I walked on, a bit on guard. A car pulled up behind him coming onto the same street and the slow moving car drove off to the end of the block, but then took the turn around to come back down the street the opposite way. there is a grass median in the road that separates the oncoming and going traffic. He went around and came back up the street again, the stopped next to me while I was waiting for one of my dogs to finish her business. He rolled down his window and asked me for the time. I thought it was odd because he was in a brand new car, a sports car. Surely he had a dash clock. I fished my cellphone out of my pocket and told him the time, trying not to look at him. Then he thanked me and drove on and turned left at the sign and I thought that was that. Next thing I knew as a turned around at the end of the block and headed back the way I came back home, here he comes again on the other side of the median and he drives past me to the middle of the block, crosses over the grass median and drives passed me again, and turns left again, only to turn BACK onto the street yet again and drive passed me once more to the middle of the block where he crosses over the grass median once more and then parks his car in a little paved area between two houses. He sat there for a while in his car, and I kind of circled around in one area, then walked the opposite direction back to the end of the block.

 I waited and waited, he pulled out, rounded the corner for a 4th time and then reappeared on the opposite side of the street coming up the street to repark in the same spot as before. I held my ground at the end of the block. I was trapped. I had to go passed him to get back on the main road that lead to my street. He then got OUT of his car and slowly started walking towards me. I was instantly freaked out and scared out of my mind. I glanced around for ANY house w/a porch light on, fully ready to run up to a door and bang on it for help. The nearest house w/a light on was too close to this guy, so I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed my best friend, who lives next door to me. Thank goodness they were home. I told her what was going on, and she and her husband jumped into their car and hurried down the end of the block and onto the main road that intersected with the street I was on. As soon as this guys saw headlights coming he disappeared somewhere, and I dashed across the grass median, loaded up the dogs in the back seat and jumped in my friend's car. We drove to the end of the block and took the circle around to go back down the opposite way, then crossed the grass median in the middle and stopped directly behind this guy's car to get a make/model and license plate number before we left and went back to my house. I called the police and they came out to get a statement and the information about his car. The cops searched the neighborhood but the guy took off pretty quickly after we left and they couldn't find him. I did see the car one more time, weeks later while I was again walking my little dogs. Only this time it was in the middle of the day. He saw me, I saw him...he slowed and started, then quickly turned down the street I swore I would never, ever walk down ever again and took off pretty fast. I've never seen him or his car again, but I have his car make, model and license plate memorized. I will never forget it, and never will I walk at night alone again.
So this is why I started to walk during the day, and back to the Texas heat- Since it's been so blistering out, and the dogs cannot handle the long walk in the sun, I have just not walked at all this summer. I am so hoping that it cools off soon so I can start walking them again. It really ticks me off that someone like that guy makes it impossible for me to be free to walk my dogs whenever is best for me, it bothers me so much. Kevin and I have decided that we will stay here in Texas for up to 5 more years (if possible) and then move somewhere that actually HAS 4 seasons. Texas has 4 seasons...and they are Hot, Shitty Hot, My Flesh is Melting off my Bones Hot, and Where the hell did the cold come from. :S i need something a bit more...subtle. :D

Jaesus.

Surgery Says...WHaaa?

So last week around 2am I was woken up with HORRIBLE pain in my side. I thought maybe I had a UTI or maybe a kidney infection, or worse...kidney stones! Both my mother and my sister have had kidney stones so I know it's a family history type of thing. So off to the ER Kevin and I went. I was in so much pain i was doubled over and couldn't walk. They had to wheel me into the ER in a wheelchair. They did tests upon tests upon tests. Blood tests, Xrays, pelvic exams (cringe!!), and finally an ultra sound. The doc finally comes in after about four hours and says- Guess what? You have gall stones. Gall stones? UGH! So now I have an appointment on the 4th with a surgeon and I'll have surgery scheduled to have my gall bladder removed. I'm so super thrilled....ugh! :S
But I'm doing okay. Not in much pain. it comes and goes but nothing too bad thank goodness. They wouldn't give me pain meds because if i was in terrible pain they didn't want it masked. they said if my gall bladder ruptures and I'm on pain meds i wont know it. :S gee and then schedule a surgical consult 2 weeks after my ER visit!? that's encouraging. I just hope the 4th comes quickly and this is over with. i feel like i have a ticking time bomb in me! argh!

~Jaesus

Dinosaur Valley Park Trip

We had SO much fun! We took the kids to the Dinosaur Valley Park two weeks ago. It was awesome. The park is beautiful, full of hiking and walking trails and even biking and horse trails too. There is camping and fishing and a playground, and of course, the fossilized footprints in the riverbed! The kids were fascinated by it all. I was in heaven! I'm such a huge dino nerd!

Kevin and I paked a cooler with lunch meats and snacks and drinks and we had a great picnic lunch at the park. Then the kids played on the playground for a bit before we hiked through the park and made our way down to the riverbed. The kids had so much fun finding all the footprints

in the riverbed. We also spotted some little bitty frogs along the river and the kids chased them into the river. We hiked all the way down the riverbed and hunted tracks and the kids talked about how they thought they got there or what the dinosaurs thought about the mud squishing between their toes! :P It was pretty hot though!

We were all feeling the heat of the day once we got down on that dry riverbed. I really want to go back again too! There is this place right before you get to the park...it's a huge building with tons of life sized dinosaur replicas. We wanted to go there but we were all so tired. So I think this fall we might go back just to go to this place (and maybe a quick walk at the park). It's called "DinoWorld"...HAHA! I can't wait to go back! Now I'll rap this up by posting a couple of pics of the prints and things...OH! and we stopped at my PapPa and MeeMaw's house on the way home (since they live right off the highway to get to the park), and took them out to dinner.

They were so surprised, and I was very happy to spend some time with them. The place we went to eat was an old gas station/convenicnce store that was converted inside. It was CRAZY. The outside looked like a run down gas station, and then you walk in and it's a WHOLE different world. It was really nice inside, the costomer service was great and the food was insanely good! I love going to see my MeeMaw and PapPa. When we fist got there they weren't home, so I was afraid we'd missed them or something.

So we got out and walked around to stretch our legs. We went and pet the horses and the mules, saw a few new baby horses and mules in the pasture with their mommas. And then saw the peacocks and chickens, the pigs and the ratty 'ol dog that my grandparent still have out on the front porch. I love going to their house. It's an oasis to me. A peaceful country home. It's a special place to me. I spent a lot of my childhood out there. Finally we ended up back in the car after walking around and then just as we were about to pull out of the long driveway...here comes my MeeMaw and PapPa up the drive! We helped them unload a new recliner for my PapPa and put that together then we headed to town for dinner.

My MeeMaw was so thrilled to see us, and we talked up a storm during dinner. She told me something so cool too! We all know that my great-granny (my MeeMaw's mother) was half Native American, but she has one sister (My great Aunt Ann- sorta the black sheep of the family and a racist bitch), denies it, and hates the idea of her mom being a "half-breed" as she disgustingly puts it! Well my MeeMaw and some of her brothers are having my Great Granny's DNA tested. Her mother (my great-great grandmother was Comanche Indian). And my Great Aunt Ann is having a COW over it! I'm excited! I love learning about my family history.

We are hoping that through DNA we can find my Great-Granny's relatives and family from her mother's side because we know nothing about her mother, other than that she was a Native American (probably Comanche Indian) and that she had 5 children before she died and her husband remarried. She died in child birth with her youngest son, and he died with her. My Great-Granny was 2 at the time of her death and her father remarried an Irish woman shortly afterwards. My Great-Granny's father was Scottish, as was my Great-Papa (my Great-Granny's Husband). My family is mostly Scottish, some Irish, and I would love to learn more about my Great-great granny! This was a cool thing to learn about so I'm really glad we stopped to visit with my MeeMaw and PapPa. :)

~Jaesus

Crazy crazy

Oh wow...I've not updated my blog in a long long time. I'm sorry about that. I've been so busy with the kids this summer and all the crazy things that's happened. Okay where to start. Well let's finish up May. We spent a ton of time at my bff's house. Nicole and Bob have been going through a lot. They've done a lot of fertility treatments trying to have a baby, and it's been so difficult for them. May was a hectic month for them. The medications and shots and doctor appointments 5 hours away in San Antonio, and on top of that, she's also a Yorkie and Pomeranian breeder. So she had two litters of puppies while all this was going on. I was there at her house all the time helping w/the puppies and then taking care of them while she was out of town for doctor visits. In late May she had to spend two weeks in San Antonio to prepare for her first IVF treatment and so I was caring for a litter of puppies and her adult dogs while she was gone. One of her puppies (named Ethan) started looking sick and lethargic. Poor baby. His condition started to worry me, so I brought him over to my house to stay w/me over night. The next day he was worse so I took him to Nicole's vet and they said he was having trouble with hypoglycemia. I got him started on a calorie booster and we tried different foods. He perked up really good. I was giving him the calorie booster every 2 hours and an antibiotic every 4hours. It was a rough week, up every two hours to give meds and offer foods, but little Ethan pulled through. :) He bounced back and made a full

recovery. Such a sweet baby. Laney was so happy to have a puppy in the house and begged her daddy relentlessly to keep him. Nicole was very grateful for my help, and offered me a future discount price on a puppy. :) I'll definitely think about it. Maybe with a male yorkie or a male yorkeranian (a mix of the yorkie and Pomeranian). Ethan is a mix. He was such a cutie, and I was so glad he pulled through. He was the runt of the litter. So sweet, and cuddly and I think even Kevin learned to really love him. Ethan sure loved Kevin and I think that helped melt his heart a bit. haha. Evil I know but I am so ready to start my own breeding program. I will be breeding Havanese (and eventually Coton de Telear). Well...one day right? *sigh* At the moment 4 dogs is about all this little house can handle. In June several things went down. 1st my dad went through his second back surgery and then some dental work. He works SO hard and I wish he would slow down a bit, but that's just not in the "Shaw DNA". He's a hard working good 'ol boy and will be till the end. He was back at work 2 weeks after surgery, which I found amazing! He's my hero, always will be. I am such a daddy's girl. I never was as a teenager, but being grown up and living life sure changes your views on things. He is a strong and caring man, someone who I know that I can always depend on and who will always be there for me. Around the first part of June my grandmother went through some dental surgery as well. My grandmother is a tough tough lady. 80 years old and just as feisty as can be! LOL I love my grandmother's no nonsense attitude, and tell-it-like-it-is way of speaking. She's tough as nails, but a dear sweet woman at the same time. Her health is declining, and it saddens me terribly so, but I know that she's lived a fabulously long life and is such a great person. I am SO grateful that she is still here, in my life and the lives of my children! It's not many people that can say they knew their great-grandmother well, but my kids are lucky enough to be able to say it. In mid June we went to my Family reunion, (my dad's side of the family). We had a BLAST! The kids swam all day and we visited and had our family auction (to raise funds for next year) and then had great BBQ.



My PapPa, Great Aunt Ann, Great Aunt Mary Alice, and my MeeMaw.

It was great to see all my family again. It had been such a long time since I got to see everyone. Kevin was overseas last year so we didn't get to go to the reunion like I wanted to. It's so difficult to travel with 4 kiddos by myself. The boys got to see some of their favorite cousins again and the little ones got to meet some new baby cousins and Laney was over the moon about that. She just loves babies! The 4th of July was pretty anticlimactic. They didn't shoot the fireworks up high enough so people that weren't parked RIGHT on the lake couldn't see them. It sucked....big ones! We left half way through because the kids just didn't seem interested. Instead, we went to the store and got ice cream, popcorn, some candy, sodas and a ton of rented movies and had a movie night all night long! We put out sleeping bags on the living room floor and just camped out all night together. It was awesome! I'll rap this up now. I've got two more posts to put up to update you to the present. :) One on our trip to the Dinosaur Valley Park, and another about a health concern for me that some people on FS are asking me about but I've yet to answer. People I'm closest to  on FS know what's going on, but I've never really answered direct questions so I've been getting this curious question due to some of my vague answers on other questions. okay well....hope all is well with everyone and everyone is enjoying the last few weeks of their summer. :) 

-Jaesus

The Colors of the Rainbow

I've been thinking about a couple of rude questions I got off my formspring account several days ago. In a nutshell, they said some pretty nasty things about a picture I have on my blog post about my Grandmother.


My Grandmother and some of her G-Grandkids

 They saw the picture of her with some of her great-grandkids. Basically...they dissed the fact that I have black cousins. I don't know why people in this day and age are so closed minded, but apparently on FS with the anonymity people think they can do or say anything they want, no matter who they hurt. Yes, I have black cousins. No, they are not blood related, but they are still family.


Casey Ann & Andrew

My dear 1st cousin Casey Ann and her husband Andrew tried for the first years of their marriage to have a child. I'm not sure of the specific circumstances but she is not able to carry a biological child. Casey Ann has a huge heart, a warm character, and an open mind. She is a sweet, caring, loving, devoted person. She might be younger than me, but I look up to her so much. She had a really hard childhood, due to her step-father (my ex Uncle Russell). He truly treated her like a 'redheaded step child' (as the tacky phrase goes)...he was mean, demanding, demoralizing and cruel to her. He showered his biological older sons with gifts and affection, and treated Casey Ann's half sister like a princess...but Casey was just a servant in his home. After all this horrible treatment, she I cannot believe the wonderful sweet person she has become. Someone with less of a heart would have become resentful and cruel themselves...but not Casey Ann. I adore my cousin. She and her husband Andrew decided to become foster parents. The took the home courses and filled out all the proper paperwork, and then finally...she got a call about two little girls that needed a home. They were 2 of 7 siblings, one is mentally disabled due to baby alcohol syndrome and drug withdrawl (the bio mother drank and did some drugs while pregnant). My cousin and her husband opened their home, and arms to these girls. She didn't care what the color of their skin was, or what their circumstances were. 

Beautiful Anautica


 She loves them. She loves them like any mother. She is a great mother! and she loves her girls so much. My cousin has friends of many colors, her church is multi-racial. She has tons of support from people of all races who encourage, give advice and are there for her and her girls on a daily basis! We all love her girls. They are bright, funny, sweet, and beautiful little girls. Anautica is a smart little girl with huge curious brown eyes and you can see a wisdom there. Irie is so precious. She has some learning disabilities and mental handicaps but she is a joy. She is always smiling, always searching for things to make everyone laugh. And just last year, a 3rd child came to their home as well. Z'Kyrah is Nautie's and Irie's youngest sibling. The foster mother who had her before decided not to foster her anymore, and Casey Ann was called and asked if she would be willing to bring Nautie and Irie's little sister in, (they like to try and keep as many siblings together as possible), and of course my cousin said yes.


Sweet Irie

 KyKy was only 7 months old when she came to live with my cousin, her husband, and siblings. She fit right in and is so loved. That little girl is so darling! Adorable and bright eyed. My cousin loves her daughters...I don't see what the color of their skin has to do with it! Love is love, love knows no color, or mental capacity. And I for one am VERY proud to have been raised in a family where 'blood ties' are not the only deciding factor in what a family is. My family is very open and loving. We take people in willingly and openly and with so much love and devotion. Those girls will be cared for, loved, cherished, guided, and raised in a home and extended family that let's them know on a daily basis that they are beautiful. That they are special.

Percious Z'Kyrah

 That they are wanted. That they can depend on us all their lives! So...rude anon on FS that dissed my cousin and her beautiful girls...go jump off a cliff. I will defend those precious little cousins of mine with everything I have. They are my FAMILY! Back off!